A kid can have very big feelings and very little self-control. That’s why understanding a child’s perspective is part of positive parenting.

Make the extra effort to put yourself in your child’s shoes the next time they start crying or whining and see if you can persuade them otherwise.

Withholding Toys from Others

You know it’s time to suggest a new game or take the kids outside when sharing breaks down. The concept of “taking turns” is a lot more appealing to children than the concept of “sharing.” When one child is finished playing with the item, pass the toy to the next child in line.

Antics in a Restaurant

Make a pre-dinner plan for how you’ll order, where you’ll sit, and the food. It’s quite acceptable to say, “We’ll be shocked!” if you have no idea. There is no obligation to consume something you do not choose to. While we’re waiting, you might want to ask her, “What are your thoughts?” Awaiting is part of the agreement, and it’s up to her to come up with a strategy for dealing with it. Bring her a snack or feed her something at home, so she isn’t starving when you arrive.

A tantrum can happen even if you try your best. Take your child to the parking lot for a brief respite if this occurs. Whenever she’s ready to return to the house, remind her of her ability to cope with the wait. If you’d rather eat at home, you may simply order takeout. But don’t portray it as a failure or a penalty.

Related article: Your Toddler or Preschooler’s Tantrum Is Actually a Good Thing

Grocery Store: “Gimmes!”

Before you leave the house, make a plan. You can tell your youngster, “We’re only going in for XYZ,” and have them assist you in locating the things on your shopping list. Consider allowing him to spend a few bucks if you’re wandering around Target on a Saturday afternoon and planning to buy a couple of additional throw pillows. It’s unfair to expect my children to have complete self-control if I’m buying purchases on the spur of the moment.

You can feel good about saying no to your child when he becomes obsessed with an item that is beyond his price range or the scope of your shopping trip. Kids are allowed to want things, but they can also learn that desire does not always lead to fulfillment.

Dogs, Dark, Bugs, Automatic-Flushing Toilets

Make sure you don’t show any signs of stress. Whenever you see a dog, take up your child and show her that you are also concerned. Stand close to her and use your body to block the dog’s path. Using a Post-it note or your hand, cover the sensor on automatic toilets to ensure proper flushing.

If she is afraid, don’t discount her feelings or try to convince her otherwise. Acknowledge it as though it were a fact. Your validation of her fear will not make it more real, but you will let her know it’s okay to express her feelings and may make the fear less scary. Then gradually increase her self-assurance. A chair and then the door are good places to sit if you’ve been sleeping with her until she falls asleep. If the challenge seems overwhelming at first, this shows her that you have faith in her ability to succeed.

Related article: Encourage your child to pay attention and follow through on what they hear.

These are just some of the tips you can start with in understanding a child’s perspective better.