Divorce is often made more difficult by sharing parental responsibilities with your ex. Consider this a comprehensive guide to a successful co-parenting strategy, from joint custody agreements to communication and scheduling advice. Here are 8 tips for better co-parenting after a divorce tp help you out.
Even when parents share a home with their children, it’s challenging to be a good parent. You can picture co-parenting difficulty if you remove a marriage and add another home.
Co-parents are two parents who have been divorced or separated and are caring for their children together. Single moms and dads confront various difficulties, such as conflicting emotions, hectic schedules, new marriages, and arrangements for joint custody of the children. When it comes to co-parenting, experts (both divorced mothers themselves) have a wealth of knowledge and experience to share.
1. Recognize and address his worries.
You should “accompany” your son if he sobs because he doesn’t like going to Daddy. Acknowledge how difficult it is for him to deal with. To help him get out of the rut, say something like, “You’re lucky to have a wonderful father, and I bet you’ll enjoy spending time with him.”
2. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity.
You have the power to the bond you have with your child, and closeness isn’t based just by looking at how many hours you put in with him. Devise a plan that works best for everyone, and have faith that you will have a close relationship with your children regardless of the circumstances.
At the beginning of her divorce, Paris’s four-year-old kid slept in her home while her ex stayed in a studio apartment. For the sake of their relationship, her ex-husband visited daily to pick up their son from school. Paris and her ex-husband ate Sunday supper together with their kid, which earns them a gold star for good co-parenting.
3. Maintaining an eye on the logistics.
Despite the importance of setting up a long-term routine, you must be prepared to renegotiate the details with your ex regularly. At the beginning of each semester, Paris sees her hers.
She gave her son his giant calendar to stamp “Mommy” days with a dolphin and “Daddy” days with a shark so he could feel more in charge.
4. Loneliness can be difficult to deal with.
It can be unpleasant to be away from your children for long periods. Allow yourself time to mourn this loss. Spend time doing things that will help you be the best parent you can be with your children: seeing friends, exercising, getting enough sleep, and engaging in interests that make you happy.
Don’t crash your kids’ party because you’re missing them when they’re with your ex. Find ways to observe them without getting in the way.
Don’t forget to bring your pals back into the fold when your children are around.
5. Be Patient and Understand Your Ex-Spouse
Don’t be afraid to see your ex-partner as a coworker who you don’t want to work with. Even if you never become friends, you will need to learn how to work together to solve difficulties.
Keep a picture of your children in front of you whenever you’re making significant decisions so that you can stay focused on your shared goal. If you can, sit on the same side of the table as your coworkers.
6. Control Your Angry Mood
When your ex does anything that hurts you, don’t start texting or emailing. On my PC, I keep a rolling list of complaints. It’s become common knowledge not to speak ill about your ex in front of your children, but putting that advice into practice can be difficult.
You won’t get him to modify his conduct by insulting or condemning him. Wounded or misunderstood people tend to behave badly. It is possible to go a long way toward healing those wounds with kind words.
7. Get to Know His New Girlfriend
Remarrying after a divorce is like playing Russian roulette. Many parents are terrified that someone they haven’t investigated will be spending time with their child. Be sure to spend time getting to know your new spouse or girlfriend before you make a long-term commitment to them.
Ask her about her expectations for your children and express your concerns about them. You and your children will have a better relationship with your mother if you’re more open and honest with one other. Ideally, your children will develop a strong bond with her. They’ll be happier in the long term if you do it.
8. Have Faith in Yourself.
It’s possible that your connection with your ex will improve once you’ve gone through the painful process of a divorce. A few of their characteristics can now assist your children without straining your relationship with them. If you and your partner cannot resolve a co-parenting issue on your own, you may want to consider seeing a counselor together.