The Natural Consequences of Children’s Misbehavior
When you allow your child to experience the consequences of their behavior through the use of natural results, they are more likely to understand the implications. This article will show you how to reward children for good behavior.
“Discipline” is used to signify losing privileges because of bad behavior. Is that what you did to your sibling? TV is off for one week. Missed a deadline? The mall trip is a thing of the past now. It can get kids to cooperate in the short term, but research suggests that this isn’t the best strategy to impart lifelong lessons.
Nowadays, many experts advise parents to let their children experience “the natural consequences of their behavior” rather than imposing rules on them. If your youngster refuses to put on their coat, don’t force them to do so. They won’t bother you again.
If your child rushes into the street, they must hold your hand for the remainder of your stroll. Logical consequences demand greater adult engagement, but they are also linked to misbehavior. You may help your child comprehend and learn from the effects of their behavior by making a personal connection with them.
It’s so simple. Indeed, ideal corrective consequences don’t always work, but you’ll be surprised at how many times they do. These recommendations will help you improve your conduct today and in the future.
What are the three “R’s” of Natural Consequence?
When a consequence is connected, polite, and reasonable, it will likely impart a valuable lesson.
“Related” is the antithesis of “random,” right? You should not deny your child the use of your iPad because of their misbehavior. Instead, it would help if you had them clean up after themselves.
“Respectful” refers to the absence of embarrassment or humiliation resulting from the action. When your child does something wrong, he already feels horrible about it. Any attempts to teach him something new will be undermined if you say things like, “I told you so,” or “you’re a jerk,” and then condemn him for it.
To be considered “Reasonable,” punishment must be a task your child is capable of completing in light of their age and experience, and it must also be proportional to their misbehavior. In this way, kids will be able to appreciate their achievements rather than resent you.
To make a point, don’t expect your 3-year-old to mop up the mess he made when he was being silly and knocked over a carton of milk. Instead, work together to clean up the mess. Try gently putting your hand on top of theirs and making the motion with them if they resist.
Be careful not to lose your cool or allow a stubborn older child to talk you out of doing something just because they’re older. Preemptively raising a negative outcome can help diffuse conflict (“I’ve seen a lot of gum wrappers around the house,” for instance). Because of this, there will be no more gum to be had”).
Where early notice cannot be provided, assist them in brainstorming solutions to an issue they have encountered. Using this example, you may respond, “You must be frustrated because you forgot your project is due tomorrow. ” I know you want me to run out and get those supplies for you right away, but it’s too late, and I’m not going to do it. Does it seem like there’s something we don’t have that you could use?
Making Children’s Effective Punishments
Assign duties and their natural consequences.
The natural repercussions of your child’s actions are rather apparent if they were wrong. When their children don’t do what they’re supposed to (like cleaning the house), many parents find it challenging to deal with the inevitable consequences (such as a messy house).
This is punishment since there is no apparent link between doing the duty and watching TV when you say to your child, “If you don’t sort your laundry, then there’s no TV.” “If you don’t… ” makes it sound like a threat, so they’ll think the objective is to make them pay for not doing what you asked. But if you substitute “When you” constructions like “When you finish organizing the laundry, then you can watch your show,” you may make this seem more rational.
Many parents would like their children to follow the rule of doing what must be done before doing what they wish. Even if your child misses their favorite show that night — and can’t chat about it with their pals the following day — once they’ve accomplished their work, they’ll naturally appreciate a fun activity more because there isn’t a chore hanging over their head……………………..
Privilege should be framed as a reward.
Privilege comes with a price, as the adage goes. By the end of the day, all toys must be put away, and those left out are considered trash, says Amy Kertesz, the mother of five children, ranging in age from four months to ten years, in Palmetto Bay, Florida. I make it clear to my children that if they don’t care about their possessions, they will forfeit the pleasure of keeping them.
Only my three-year-old is exempt from this rule. Rather than just throwing things away, I’ll ask him to put something away for me.” Ensure that your child cleans up their playthings by placing them on high shelves or putting them in a box and returning them after they demonstrate that they have cleaned up their other toys.
This works for both tangible and intangible privileges alike. Having your child play with their siblings is a privilege, not a right if your youngster can’t play well with them. If they don’t treat you with respect, they won’t be allowed to be heard. Instead of saying, “Don’t you dare speak to me that way!” gently explain, “I will be pleased to discuss this when you can talk about it politely. When you’re ready, you can find me in my room.”
The truth will set you free.
Telling the truth is often overlooked by parents. It’s not uncommon for children to ask for ice cream when they’ve been misbehaving throughout the day. “You know, I don’t feel like bringing you out for ice cream with the way you’ve behaved today,” you could say. That’s it. When you mistreat others, they’re less likely to go above and above for you in the future.
Always have a fallback strategy in place.
Some “natural consequence” punishments for children won’t work, even if you follow these general guidelines. It’s meaningless if you let your child see how it feels to throw pebbles at someone if they think the natural consequence is no big problem (tooth rot due to refusing to brush their teeth). When you’re rushing to go to daycare, looking for a logical result usually doesn’t make sense.
If the consequences aren’t immediately apparent, it’s generally not a good idea to implement it. In the absence of natural effects, tactics such as problem-solving, moving your young child to an appropriate activity, and holding family meetings (with children aged four and up) may be effective. Using them is only one of many options available to you as a student in your chosen discipline. The builder will need more than just a hammer to build a house.