What Should I Do If I Discover Pornographic Content in My Teen’s Web History?
Screaming in front of your child, or “over-reacting,” is discouraged by most psychologists who have dealt with this situation. Allow yourself a visceral reaction, but don’t do it in front of them. Then, before sitting down with your child to discuss it, talk it through with the other parent if at all feasible.
More than any other factor, parents shape their children’s sexual orientation, according to the research. As a result, youths are more likely to delay sex and take preventative measures to avoid the spread of STDs and pregnancy when they do engage in sex.
This can be even more detrimental to your adolescent’s growth and understanding of sexuality when a parent overreacts (read: me screaming into a pillow) (depending on the specifics). For the sake of our child’s well-being, we must encourage healthy sexual development and not respond to it in a shameful manner.
Every family has its own set of beliefs about sex and sexuality, and that’s something to keep in mind when you’re having a conversation about it. It’s important to remember that these things should never be used as an excuse to avoid having a conversation. Let’s face it: Today’s porn is a far cry from the Playboy publications that were stowed away in our childhoods. Anyone with a smartphone and internet connection may see pornographic content, which makes it easy for teens to get their hands on. Because there’s no way to completely block all pornographic content from being accessed on the internet, most experts think that it’s appropriate to implement limits. You can’t just leave the controls alone. There are many ways to talk to your kid about pornography, and following these recommendations can help you do so in a calm, open manner.
Preparation is the key to success.
For teens, sex talk can be an uncomfortable topic, so they may be staring at the floor and doing everything they can to avoid eye contact with you. Is it a message to tell children that curiosity is a normal part of the human condition? When it comes to sex and porn, what messages do you wish to get across? Also, why do you think people should avoid watching porn?
The best way to get to know someone is to ask questions and engage with them.
With open-ended inquiries, you can persuade your child to talk about how porn has affected their lives. As a result, they may have gotten frightened or had more inquiries. Make time to answer their queries and demonstrate your ability to handle the situation with a cool, impartial approach. It’s possible to convert a potentially scary finding into an opportunity to teach your teen about essential aspects of sexual development.
A Teenager Weighs in
‘Teen Talk,’ in which kids write to assist parents better understand what’s going on in their lives, asked one of our teen contributors how she thought a parent should approach this topic. Her response: She emphasizes the significance of parents having a real, open, and honest dialogue with their children about sex. Come to me as a person, not just as a concerned parent, and don’t make me feel like a failure. Those of us who are in our early twenties have had enough of feeling awful, odd, and alone. We don’t need our parents teaching us that we’re flawed, either. We can only mature into our young adult selves successfully if we have someone to lean on as we go through our adolescent years.
What’s at Stake
Pornography curiosity is perfectly normal, and the internet has made it a lot easier for people to do so. There is, however, a good deal of evidence showing how the content might lead both men and women to have irrational expectations of sexual encounters. Excessive exposure might harm future romantic relationships and possibly increase the chance of sexual dysfunction.
So, after you’ve recovered from yet another reminder that your teen is no longer your baby, remind yourself of your purpose to raise a happy and healthy young adult. Sex is a part of this preparation, but it’s also about teaching kids how to have meaningful and respectful adult relationships. As a teacher, it’s your obligation to make them aware that this is not porn-like sexuality. First, panic out a little bit.