Your Child’s First Crush: How to Handle It
Playground nuptials are a common occurrence as soon as classes begin. What should you do if you’ve developed a serious puppy crush?
A child’s first affection is usually his or her family. Because of the increased amount of time spent in school and activities outside of the home as children enter kindergarten or the first grade, they develop a strong sense of attachment to their classmates. What should you do about these naive adorations of yours? These (love) messages are yours.
Observe the Signs
It’s possible that your child is eager to tell you the good news. It is more likely, though, that she will play the coy. Look for signs such as giggling over a friend of the opposite sex, watching love comedies, or even making up stories about marriage in pretend playtime as clues.
Get the Scoop
You may want to avoid the subject entirely, or you may want to milk every last detail out of it. The ideal strategy is to begin by asking open-ended questions and allowing your youngster to lead the conversation. Ask your kid what it means to him if he claims he has a girlfriend. Because you want him to feel at ease talking to you, resist the need to chuckle or disregard what he says.
Check to See if the Feelings are Shared
Let’s say your daughter has a crush on a boy at school. Ask her if she believes the boy feels the same way about her after you’ve gotten to know her. It’s crucial to respect his feelings, even if she doesn’t believe he does. There are several ways of saying, “I know you like Josh, but you shouldn’t go about trying to make him like you, since that’s not how good friends treat each other.” Similarly, if your daughter has a crush on a boy, but he doesn’t reciprocate, let her know that it’s perfectly acceptable for her not to desire him as a girlfriend.
Defining the Limits
Some kids may desire to touch hands or kiss on the cheek with their crushes, even if it’s just to write notes or hang out at recess. Sexuality isn’t a factor in these physical activities at this age, according to most experts. Kids are just beginning to connect the dots between the concepts of love, pleasure, and intimacy. However, it’s a good idea to bring up the subject of boundaries. To play together at school, but not kiss, you can inform your child.
Heal the Pained Emotions
Most kids outgrow their first crushes within a few months. The fact that a classmate claims she no longer wants to be his “girlfriend” may harm your son. Ask him what he thinks. Then extol his virtues and the friendships he enjoys. Mentioning your own childhood experiences might also assist your youngster in understanding that what he’s going through is completely natural.