The fun mom’s guide to positive discipline fosters a sense of trust, openness, and mutual respect. Experts claim it’s the best approach to instilling moral values in young people.
Do you yell, lecture, or take away privileges when someone misbehaves? You may want to reevaluate your disciplinary strategy.
When children feel intimidated, they are unable to learn. Rather than because they understand the concept of good and evil, your child may comply with your requests because they are terrified of what will happen if they don’t.
Nowadays, “positive discipline,” a parenting method centered on kindness and trust, is recommended by some professionals. In order to show your child that you care about her, you must listen, reward good behavior, and express your affection for her. Showing your youngster that you appreciate and love him will make him more likely to follow your rules in the future.
Do you know what Positive Discipline is all about?
In order to be considered positively disciplined, you must meet the following five requirements:
- Kindness and firmness go hand in hand in positive discipline.
- It fosters a sense of belonging in youngsters (belonging and significance).
- The results are long-lasting.
- Teaching children social and life skills is an important part of developing a child’s character.
- It demonstrates to children that they are capable and that they can make good use of their unique abilities.
It is not the goal of proponents of this positive parenting approach to do away with all forms of punishment. This approach’s primary goal is a child’s sense of security and protection.
Using positive discipline, parents can use punishment as a tool to teach their children the difference between right and wrong.
Utlizing the “Fun Mom Discipline” Approach
“Stop! Stop! Stop!” is the scariest thing you’ll ever hear from your child. Then there is the instance when you see your little child taking a sharp knife from the counter while you are screaming, “NO!” As a result of my excessive usage of these orders, “stop” and “no” became essentially indistinguishable from white noise.
After getting an idea from an old party game, I turned the music up and joined the youngsters in some dancing. Switching it off and saying, “Freeze!” was my next move. We were all paralyzed by the cold. Eventually, they were so skilled at doing it without music that it was difficult for me to continue. When I yelled “Freeze!” they all immediately stopped moving. After that, we went outside and practiced.
For non-emergencies like Charlie’s putting eggs in his pocket or Kyla’s pushing her fingers in my ears, I kept “no” and “stop” in my pocket. Freeze became our “safe word,” one they linked with a pleasant activity, which made them feel less inclined to defy or ignore me when they heard it. In the end, it saved my life by giving me just enough time to rush to the boy in danger and protect him from harm.
Exploring and Changing Directions
1. Fun Discipline Guide When Your Kid Won’t Share
It’s understandable that the phrase “taking turns” irritates young children. For example, a yellow bus with the stop sign is the only item that causes them to hear the word “stop” at all. Is anyone to blame for grabbing the toy and yelling, “mine?” Your child may believe that he will never again see that particular bus.
When Charlie was having difficulties in his playgroups, we came up with the concept of “taking turns.” My husband and I, Charlie and Kyla, sat in a circle. I held up a rolled-up sock, something that wasn’t particularly meaningful to Charlie, and stated that we would take turns. “May I have a turn when you’re done?” and “Thank you” were used to ensuring that everyone had a chance to hold the sock more than once. Charlie was still apprehensive about handing over the squeaky clown at playgroup, but he was more eager to do so now that he understood the language and knew he would get another turn.
2. Ransacking Drawers and Cabinets (also known as “Exploring”)
I put the bleach away and took care of all the other childproofing duties that go along with being a mom. There were frying pans, flour and even rainbow sprinkle to contend with. I wanted Charlie to leave them alone for my own sanity, even though they weren’t harmful. I’d go crazy if I had to lock up everything in my drawers that might make a mess or make noise.
It’s important to let your kids play, but how do you do it in a way that doesn’t leave you with a headache, a massive mess, and a mom wailing at a youngster who is just being…a kid?
The cabinets in my kitchen were either labeled “For Charlie!” with a big smile or “Not for Charlie!” with a huge sigh as I walked around with my two-year-old. After a few rounds, he started looking up to see what phrase I’d say instead of lunging forward to unlock a door. Isn’t it time to stop and forcefully shake his head no when you’re nearing a cabinet? (or, in rare cases, yes — the Tupperware, for example, was all his).
In addition, this game is portable. As soon as we arrived at a friend’s house, I would spend a few minutes touring the most popular areas of the house, which would save me hours of rescuing Charlie from places that were “not for Charlie,” like the freezer or dog water bowl.
3. All the Wrong Places for Serious Silliness
Two of my friend, Cathy’s sons, are particularly goofy. This trio is well renowned for their Captain Underpants imitation, fart noises, and impromptu Three Stooges demonstrations. Nevertheless, she took them to restaurants and museums even when they were at their most silly ages. How did she manage to accomplish so?
She’d tell her lads to put their “sillies” in their pockets before they entered a serious establishment. Their only option would be to snatch the sillies by their skinny necks and stuff them out of the way. Because the sillies have a tendency to climb out and wind placed on the boys’ shoulders or earlobes, you’ll need to keep an eye out for them.
When they are reminded, they rush back. It was Cathy who told me to stop playing this game when the sillies started running down the corridors, and you had to lock them in the car. Charlie and Kyla loved the “sillies in your pocket” game I played with them. It’s a lot of fun when I inform them they’re free to leave the museum. After that, the real fun can begin!
The Secret to Success with Positive Discipline
Consistency is key. Don’t budge from the path you’ve set for yourself. In the absence of regulations, youngsters will assume that they are free to break them as they like.
Be brief and composed. Lengthy lectures aren’t necessary; short and charming remarks are just as effective.
Take action quickly. As quickly as possible, even if you are in public, discipline your child so that the cause for punishment is obvious.
Remember, Yelling Won’t Help You in the Long-run
There are many ways to get your children to listen without raising your voice.
But there are times when it seems that the only way to get a child’s attention is to scream. That’s understandable. But to enjoy better conduct from your kid, you have to learn how to lower your voice’s volume a few notches.
Freak-outs happen on the fly, and they drive me insane. Do you know that you’ll have a bad day tomorrow if you watch Shrek all night? I’m yelling before I even realize it. How can it happen so quickly from a movie request to a scream fest?
Like many parents, I respond to my children’s behavior by yelling. In fact, a screaming hangover is a common side effect of yelling sessions. As a result, adults may wish they had handled the issue differently.
Children aren’t having any fun either. In the long run, your child’s self-esteem and sense of security could be damaged if Yelling is your primary mode of discipline.
You won’t hurt your children if you only yell occasionally, but it’s still a bad way to persuade them to behave. Children’s “fight or flight” instinct and rational thinking are both shut down when their parents yell at them.
For a kid to grasp why his behavior is unacceptable, I need him to understand what I’m saying, and if I yell at him, he’ll stop processing information. Raising one’s voice when one is upset is a lesson that children learn from their parents.
If we hit them, they’ll hit us, and if we yell at them, they’ll start screaming. When we remain calm, our children pick up on that and learn to do the same.
Of course, even the calmest parents have their moments. You must express your regret to your child and acknowledge that you mishandled the situation. It’s not acceptable for parents to tell their children it’s alright to make errors, then not confess their faults and not apologize.
Identifying the situations that regularly cause you to yell can help you prepare ahead of time for how to react, allowing you to maintain better control over your emotions when they arise. Some of the most popular scream-inducing items were referred to professionals for better solutions.
The Battle for Power
Your kid insists on having a cookie for breakfast, and she won’t accept a “no.” Assuming she’s thinking, “If I shout and yell, maybe Mom will listen to me.” Then you lose your calm and start yelling at her as the argument between you and her intensifies.
When it comes to their children, why do parents lose it?
As adults, we feel helpless when our children question our authority. The desire to regain control is more likely the motivation behind your screams than the cookie itself. At any given time, a power struggle takes place between two individuals.
As parents, we want our children to know that we are the ones who make the decisions.
Solution with no screams
Make a concerted effort to shift from combat mode to prevent a power conflict from spiraling out of control. It’s more important to discover a solution together than win or lose this conflict with your child.
To begin, simply explain your position. Then, provide a few options. This will give her a sense of agency in the issue. When everything else fails, try to lighten the mood with a bit of humor.
In order to get your youngster into a more positive mindset, you may want to start by dancing about the house in the middle of the night.
How To Discipline Children With ADHD?
Discipline may need to be approached differently when dealing with a child with ADHD. You can help your child better control their behavior by making a few easy adjustments to your parenting style.
Sitting quietly, completing work, regulating impulses, and following directions may be difficult for children with ADHD. These methods of disciplining a child with complex conduct can be really helpful.
Positive Attention Should Be Given.
Raising a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be challenging. Even the most patient parent might become exhausted by their children’s never-ending energy and urge to talk incessantly. However, if you’re going to invest in a child with ADHD, it’s worth it.
Positive play minimizes the need to attract others’ attention. And your punishments will be more effective as a result. Make time for one-on-one time with your child every day, no matter how challenging their conduct has been. Even 15 minutes of positive attention a day can make a big difference in how children behave.
Instruct Others in the Correct Way
Short-attention-span children require extra assistance in following instructions. In most cases, the people receiving the orders are unaware they’ve been handed them. Begin by gaining your child’s entire attention to ensure that your instructions are more effective. Before making a request, turn off the television, make eye contact, and put your hand on your child’s shoulder.
Stay away from command chains like, “Put on your socks first, then clean up after yourself.” As they make their way to their room, a youngster with ADHD will likely find anything else to do rather than clean it, such as putting on their socks. At a time, only one instruction should be given.
The phrase “clean your room” is a good example of a broad task. In place of this, provide a checklist or assign one duty at a time, such as making the bed, putting soiled clothing in the hamper, replacing books on the shelf, and so forth.
You may ensure that your youngster understands by having them repeat what they’ve just heard back to you.
Applaud the Efforts of Your Child
Praise your youngster when they do anything properly. When children with ADHD are regularly praised and given positive feedback, they are more likely to behave.
Be explicit in your praise. To praise good behavior, say, “Great job putting your dish in the sink right when I asked you to.” Be a positive role model by praising your youngster for following instructions, playing quietly, and sitting still.
Take a Break When You Need to
Children with ADHD may benefit from using time-outs to help them relax physically and psychologically. There’s no need to use time-out as a severe punishment. Aside from its obvious practical applications, though, it can be an extremely useful life skill.
Your youngster should be taught to retreat to a quiet area when feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. Set up a safe place where they can relax, not as a kind of punishment, but as a way to help them cope. This is a place where your youngster will eventually be able to go on their own without your supervision.
Ignore Minor Violations
Attention-seeking behavior is common in children with ADHD. They will continue to engage in these practices even if they receive negative attention.
Teaching them that annoying conduct won’t get them what they want by ignoring minor misbehaviors. Do not be distracted by people’s grumbling, complaining, or making loud noises. Your child’s crying will stop.
Allow Natural Consequences
When dealing with a child who has ADHD, it’s important to pick your battles. When your child grows up, you don’t want them to think that they can do nothing right and that they are always in trouble as a result of their own activities. Both of you will benefit from letting go of some bad habits.
Persuading a child to make a better option isn’t always the best use of your time and energy. Simply putting the food away if your child refuses to stop playing to eat lunch is a good example.
As a natural result, they’ll be hungry later and forced to wait until dinner to eat anything at all. They’ll be more eager to consume their lunches tomorrow.
Set Up a Rewards Program
When it comes to helping children with ADHD stay on target, incentive-based strategies can be a lifesaver. Although it is true that children with ADHD often get bored with typical incentive systems since they compel them to wait too long before receiving a reward. To assist your youngster in earning tokens throughout the day, consider setting up a token economy.
Be specific about the actions you want your child to perform in order to earn tokens, such as staying at the table during meals, using gentle touches with pets, or putting toys away after using them. Next, you can allow tokens to be swapped for more valuable prizes, such as electronic time or the opportunity to play a favorite game with a loved one.
Collaborate With The Educator Of Your Child
When parents and teachers work together, the likelihood of a child’s success in school increases. Some students require alterations to their curriculum, such as additional time on assessments.
Behavioral changes may also be required. Allowing children with ADHD to have recess may lead to an increase in behavioral issues. To assist your child in managing their symptoms, you must work together to develop a behavior management strategy.
School and home-based behavior control plans can be useful.
Choosing your battles intelligently is the greatest tactic.
Disciplining a child for every misbehavior is not always necessary; sometimes, children simply act out because they are children.
There are many situations where you may discipline your child for striking their younger brother, but not for making an obnoxious joke soon before bedtime.
Face the facts.
How long do you expect a 4-year-old to sit still on a grocery shop trip? Expectations from parents should be reasonable for their children.
Catch your child doing something good. Your youngster screams for your attention because they need it. When it comes to receiving attention, kids love hugs and compliments, but they’ll equally accept your ranting and screaming.
You won’t have to resort to nasty behavior in order to grab your child’s attention if you reward him for cleaning up his toys.
Remind your youngster that you care about them. Despite your child’s misbehavior, remember they aren’t evil. After maintaining your self-control, reward yourself with hugs and kind words before moving on.
It’s also crucial to remember that your child’s conduct will not alter overnight. It will take time for the discipline you’re cultivating to take root.