As a parent, dealing with the constant emotional rollercoaster of teenage behavior can be overwhelming. It’s not uncommon for teenagers to test boundaries, be rude, or slam doors in moments of frustration. That’s why establishing healthy boundaries are crucial for teen behavior to ensure a harmonious home life.
Being a parent in the face of a disobedient adolescent can leave you feeling terrible and unsure of your abilities. It doesn’t help that family members are usually the ones where teenagers behave the worst. The good news is that as a parent, you can take steps to ease your adolescent’s transition through this time of rapid development and raging hormones.
How to Stop Aggressive Teen Behavior
Relax and inhale deeply. Understand that your frustration with your adolescent is normal and that things will likely resolve themselves. It takes time and patience, but it’s well worth it to help your teenager manage their mood swings and restore peace to the home.
It is up to you to show your kid how to behave appropriately in public. As a result, your teen will likely mimic your word choice and phrasing when talking. Interrupting, teasing, or talking down to your teenager is not constructive. Keep your cool and gently remind the disrespectful teen that her actions are unacceptable. Keep in mind that your adolescent is still a child who needs you, even when tensions rise.
Defeat the heat.
If the tempers are rising, it’s best to step away so everyone can collect themselves. Taking 15 minutes to go in separate rooms can help everyone talk more rationally and clearly after they’ve all relaxed. Be sure to follow through and address any lingering behavioral issues.
Establish firm ground rules and limits for your family.
Teens’ feelings of being heard improve when they participate in developing behavioral expectations. Because of this, they will be more likely to behave properly. Have a family meeting to discuss the ideal way to treat each other. Discuss the types of conduct that are tolerated. Talk about what you each expect from the other and what the repercussions should be if those expectations aren’t met.
Give your teen a chance to air their grievances without interruption, even if you disagree with everything they say. Having a signed family behavior contract can be helpful for some families.
Put more emphasis on rewards than on penalties.
Teenagers, like adults, tend to place less importance on little rewards and punishments. Instead, you should appeal to their intrinsic motivations, such as their desire to drive, talk on the phone, play a video game, or spend time with friends. Your teen’s access to these benefits depends on demonstrating responsibility and good behavior, so be sure to stress this to her. To avoid conflicts with those in positions of authority is also helpful. Some parents believe it is more effective to take away a favorite activity, such as using the phone or visiting a friend’s house, when bad behavior occurs.
Keep the big picture in mind.
Decide what matters most to you, and let that decision inform your actions and reactions. Consider the traits you hope your teen will develop as an adult, such as the ability to work through disagreements, be empathetic, and think critically.
Don’t take your teen’s dramatic or emotional outbursts to heart, and don’t get caught up in the drama. Once you’ve prioritized your needs, it’ll be easier to ignore people’s disinterested expressions and sighs of frustration. Understand that your teen’s disrespectful actions may reflect a sense of helplessness. That has nothing to do with how good a parent you are.
Stop impolite adolescent conduct immediately.
Don’t lose your cool if your teenager is acting inappropriately. Sometimes it seems like an uphill battle. Make an effort to speak in a normal voice, though. Realize that raising your voice won’t solve anything. Remind your teen that their actions are unacceptable and that you will not tolerate them. Don’t put off dealing with the problem or carrying out the consequences until later. Better results can be achieved through immediate problem-reporting and collaborative problem-solving.
Keep in mind that you are the parent.
Maintain composure and authority even if your adolescent is losing it. Your teen is trying to tell you that she is losing control and needs your help by acting out this way. Keeping your cool when your adolescent is upset demonstrates to her that you love her no matter what and that you can guide her through her intense emotions without taking them to heart.
Don’t go back on your word.
Despite negative attitudes and misbehavior, it is your responsibility as a parent to remain firm and consistent. Your adolescent will learn that rules will be enforced and that you aren’t a pushover if you establish firm limits and consequences for breaking them. Giving in to a child’s whining, crying, pouting, or bad attitude is a lot like giving in to those behaviors when the child was younger.
Try to maintain a balance between firmness and compassion. And don’t say things like “you’re grounded for life” or ban something permanently if you don’t intend to follow through on that or if you know, you can’t make your teen’s compliance a priority.
Develop a solid rapport.
When you and your teen have a solid foundation, weathering the storms of life together is easier. It’s likely that your adolescent’s social and academic obligations have increased, making it harder to find common ground and spend quality time together. The best way to see how your adolescent is doing without making a big deal out of it is to spend as little as 30 minutes with them multiple times a week. Ask her to join you for some yoga or a walk or to come along on your next trip to the supermarket. If you want to connect with each other, now is the time to put down your phones and focus on one another. If you do it often enough, she’ll know she can count on you in tough times and open up to you as a result.
Spending time together as a family is vitally important.
In addition to quality time spent apart, families should also make time to spend together. Spend quality time with your loved ones weekly, whether over a meal, game, stroll, or movie. A family that sticks to a routine together stays united. It’s a time to catch up, share stories, and reminisce about the things you have in common.
Maintain Your Efforts
Putting up with negative attitudes and disruptive behavior from teenagers can be exhausting, but thankfully, this stage is only temporary. With your support, you can equip your adolescent with the tools she needs to make wise decisions and express herself effectively.