Becoming a new parent can be one of the most gratifying experiences in life, but it can also be one of the most frightening and stressful situations in life. That’s why it’s essential to explore ideas to help you get over the baby blues, as this is a common challenge faced by many new parents.
The moment a couple becomes parents for the first time is watershed in both of their lives. According to the advice of a health coach based in New York City named Kayleigh Pleas, “You will feel the full range of human emotion, from the depths of dread and loneliness to the peaks of joy and love.”
Because your brain has a “negativity bias” that is hardwired into it, it is natural for you to focus on the difficulties that you are currently facing, such as restless nights, your changing body after giving birth, and the immense responsibility that you now have. Because of this focus, it’s possible to help explain why as many as 80 percent of pregnant parents-to-be feel the baby blues.
According to Pleas, the secret is to respond with knowledge and love to the inevitable problems of new motherhood while also remembering the beautiful aspects of life.
Continue reading for some skills that will help you manage the hurdles of becoming a new parent. These methods are from the subject of positive psychology, which studies how to feel happier. In this way, you won’t have to worry about anything other than relishing all of the wonderful aspects of it.
Have Some Compassion For Yourself
Adjusting to being a new parent can be challenging and upsetting for many people, who then feel embarrassed for having such feelings. You are well aware that you need to take some time off for yourself, but putting that advice into practice can be challenging.
Kindly propose three steps that you can take to show a little compassion for yourself.
Determine the emotions that you are experiencing.
Be conscious and say things to yourself such as, “I’m feeling scared about taking care of another person,” “I’m overwhelmed by how much my life has changed,” or “I’m a little blue.” For example, “I’m feeling scared about taking care of another person.”
If you are still feeling low more than two weeks after giving birth, you should consult a health care practitioner. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) reports that the baby blues normally only last for one to two weeks and go away on their own without the need for medication.
Therefore, persistent emotions could be an indicator of a more serious disease, such as postpartum depression (PPD). According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), postpartum depression (PPD) can afflict as many as one in eight women who have just given birth to a child, despite the fact that it is not as prevalent as the baby blues.
Keep in mind that you are not the only one.
Millions of other parents are going through exactly what you are going through right now. The act of reflecting on this idea, which is known as “shared humanity,” is one way to make a person feel less alone and lonely. The realization that you are not the only person going through this can be a source of great solace.
Be your own best friend.
Pleas recommend that you “think about what you would say to your best friend if she said she was experiencing exactly what you’re feeling right now.” “Then repeat it to yourself,” she said.
Take a Few Steps Back and Relax
If you are in a relationship, you have probably noticed that quality time together as a pair becomes significantly more challenging to find after the birth of a child. Nevertheless, even the smallest of actions can make a difference.
“Creating mini-pockets of time where you connect with your partner is essential as it communicates to each other, ‘We’re in this together,'” says Pleas. “Creating mini-pockets of time where you connect with your partner is very important.” Connecting through one’s breathing is one method for accomplishing this goal.
Spend the last minute of the day sitting still and taking five slow, deep breaths together as a group. Put your hands on each other’s backs and look into one another’s eyes while listening to the sound of the other person’s breath. This helps you strengthen your relationship with your partner and makes it easier for you to calm your mind and cope better with stress.
This is an excellent exercise for connection, but it is also an excellent exercise for independent calming and mindfulness practice. According to research conducted by the American Institute of Stress, there are a number of advantages to practicing deep breathing:
- Boosts the amount of oxygen that reaches the brain.
- Helps you feel relaxed.
- Enables you to shift your focus away from the concerns that you have.
- Relaxes and calms your mind.
You can engage in slow, mindful breathing exercises on your own or with another person.
Develop Your Social Networks
According to Pleas, the strength of a person’s social relationships is one of the best markers of how well they are doing in life. Unfortunately, new parents frequently find themselves socially isolated at home as they tend to their newborn children and the myriad of tasks that come along with becoming a parent.
Make sure that you schedule some time in your schedule to get together with old friends or to make some new ones: In order for you to go out, you should ask a relative to come and keep the baby for you. Some suggestions:
- Meet up for lunch with a close and dear friend.
- Participate in a group for parents.
- Create a regular get-together for playtime with other new parents in the region.
Ask a provider of health care for recommendations of similar groups operating in your region. In addition, the preschool, YMCA, and religious centers in your community might provide you with helpful outlets.
Say “Thank You”
A shift in perspective away from the negative and toward the positive can be facilitated by cultivating an attitude of thankfulness. According to Pleas, there are always times in your day worthy of celebrating, regardless of how busy or overwhelming your day may be.
She suggests taking a few minutes every night before bed to reflect on the good things in your life and record three gratitudes. This will help educate your brain to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Write down one phrase describing each and try to be as descriptive as you can: For example, instead of simply writing, “I’m thankful for my baby,” try something more creative. Instead, you may write something along the lines of, “I’m thankful for the instant this morning when my kid smiled at me while looking me straight in the eye.”
You can keep a thankfulness diary on your own, or you and your significant other can keep one together and take turns writing in it and sharing your ideas.
Keep In Mind What Really Matters
Take fifteen minutes whenever you are feeling particularly depressed, and write about what you care profoundly about and how you will commit to it in the future. According to Pleas, doing so could improve resiliency, compassion, mood, and perseverance throughout the completion of challenging activities. In fact, research published in the journal PLoS ONE in 2013 discovered that identifying and concentrating on one’s most important values can improve one’s ability to solve problems.
Create a list of your top three values as a starting point. Examples include:
- A person’s dedication on a personal level to a certain cause or custom.
Next, select one of the principles and write down why it’s important to you and the steps you’ll take to implement it in your daily life.
According to Pleas, new parents must establish their values and investigate new ways to fulfill their devotion to important things because the pace of change in their lives is so rapid. However, she notes that it is inevitable that new parents will have to adjust how they fulfill that promise.