Here’s an account of a mother that captured the absurdity of parenting double standards demonstrating that moms are criticized, and men are praised for doing the same thing.
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Constance Hall, an Australian blogger, is essentially my new favorite person because she posted a funny anecdote about diaper changes that made me laugh out loud and perfectly encapsulated how absurdly differently people treat parents and dads for doing the same thing.
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In a viral Facebook post that has received over 73,000 replies, Hall describes how her infant required a diaper change while she was dining out with a friend. “There was no changing table in the restroom,” she writes. “No problems, the restaurant was in a park, so I walked a great distance away, laid her on the grass, and changed her diaper. No big deal.”
Unless to somebody, it was. “Thirty minutes later, a woman came to me and said, ‘I saw you changing your daughter’s diaper; next time, could you please use the changing table?’ I stated, “There was none.” She responded, “There is, it’s in the disabled restroom around the corner.”
Hall answered as only she could to the unpleasant stranger. Caution: it featured sarcasm and profanity.
The following weekend, Hall and her husband Bill were in the park when their other child had a diaper change. She recalls, “When I informed Bill it was his turn, he put Rumi on the grass and changed his derriere.”
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As before, random strangers also expressed their views. But, this time, their words had a different tone.
“As a group of women walked by, one of them said, ‘Good dad!’ That’s what we prefer to see,” Hall explains. “Bill felt like a legend.”
Now, Hall points out the double standard. She states, “I didn’t give it much thought because I’m accustomed to it. I am accustomed to being scrutinized for tasks that my husband receives credit for.
“When I pick up my children from school, I am accustomed to being judged for being late, whereas Bill is accustomed to a red f-ing carpet and a 12-piece band congratulating him for his heroic presence. As a society, we place so much pressure on women to be ideal and unselfish while holding males to low parenting standards,” she adds.
Being a mother, I relate. My spouse is currently at the grocery store with our three girls, as I type this. And I think, as was the case with Hall, that people are falling all over themselves because a father is shopping with his children. Nevertheless, while I am at the store with them, I am merely “performing my job.”
Yet Hall has no desire to insult fathers. She concludes her piece by stating, “I’m not advocating to stop giving appreciation. I enjoy watching Bill receive recognition for the things he does for our children. He is a decent father, so why not honor him? But let’s also applaud one another; when we see a lady talking on the phone while wheeling a stroller, let’s think, ‘Wow, she opted not to stay in and bid on eBay while drinking pure vodka.” She chose to go to the park and be a wonderful mother.'”
From your lips, Constance, to the ears of every living, breathing, judging individual on the planet!
Meaningful articles you might like: What To Do When Others Criticize Your Way of Parenting, The Advantages and Disadvantages of Authoritative Parenting, Parenting Techniques for the Busy Mom