Stop Telling Pregnant Women How Tired They Look—We Already Know

Listen, constantly telling pregnant women how tired they look is not the kind of energy they need; in fact, it often seems like you’re implying they look awful. Visit the Reddit discussion that confirms this assertion, and learn why it’s essential to stop telling pregnant women how tired they look.

You’d think it’s common knowledge that pregnancy is exhausting. At this stage, we can all agree that it must be exhausting to experience relatively rapid body growth and change, severe kicks to your organs, and ongoing gastrointestinal difficulties.

Yet, as one Reddit user pointed out, there is concern that pregnant women may have forgotten this. User u/not-a-real-shark states, “I’m 84 years pregnant (35 weeks)” “Do not tell me that I appear “weary” or “so spent.” This is accepted knowledge. Grandmother, please tell me I look beautiful and go on.”

About a hundred comments concurred with the original poster (OP).

“I have three young children and am currently pregnant. My brother is often telling me how terrible I look. Nice man. Cool. This is my face at present,” Reddit user u/apsalarmal writes. You can almost hear the OP answer by shaking their head: “Like, why say anything? It is unrestricted to remain silent.”

Others chimed in with remarks about how such remarks are actually rather damaging. “I’ve always interpreted “You look exhausted” to mean “You look like crap.” I’m 40+1. I have essentially not slept for over a month. I know I look like hot crap. I do not require the reminder, “commented u/angeluscado.

When user Kristine6476 responds, they represent us all: “Every. Every. Day. 37 weeks now. ‘ You appear to be about to burst!’ Not within the next eight weeks, but thank you.”

You must have only a week or two left, right? Nope, six, in fact.

“You seem exhausted!” I haven’t slept in 33 weeks, I am exhausted and aware that I look like s**t; thus, say nothing.

“Are you certain there’s only one in there?” Baby is in the 95th percentile, and I have two fibroids, so technically I have three. Please start complimenting pregnant women. LIE TO ME. I am aware that I Seem exhausted, obese, and exhausted because I AM all of these things.”

Maybe you’re rolling your eyes as you read this. Perhaps you believe you should be permitted to say whatever you want, whenever you want. You are correct, but many astute people have chosen to match thoughtlessness with sarcasm, so things may become awkward.

“My only response is ‘b*tch, I am,'” u/Icy says.

Yes. This is met with a hearty chuckle.

Reddit user u/Messedupnails ratchets up the embarrassment by suggesting: “Just react with a sobbing “what?” Oh no, I thought I looked decent for once today?! I’m trying my best… I suppose it is not adequate. That makes me feel absolutely bad about myself. Anyway…enjoy the remainder of your day (cry) (cry). You can unload more emotional baggage on them the more they comment. That’s fine, correct?”

The OP then responds, “I agree with this.”

User cfishlips, on the other hand, selects a somewhat more terrifying path. “This is when you say “I most certainly am.” Thank you very much for agreeing to help with this.”

Grown-Ass-Weeb, however, expresses the annoyance of this comment better than anybody else, forsaking all other considerations in favor of frankness. “I always say, ‘That’s simply a lovely way of telling me I look like sh*t,'” the author writes, “and they never bring it up again.”

The remark about a pregnant woman’s fatigue is (ideally) motivated by a wish to be compassionate and sympathetic. It’s nice to connect with others while you’re in the throes of having your kidneys pushed up under your chin by a watermelon on legs. Pregnancy may be isolating and overwhelming, and it’s a nice gesture to reach out to others.

There are, however, a variety of other ways to demonstrate empathy outside commenting on appearances, especially when this topic is frequently a sensitive one. Say how ecstatic they must be, and then inquire as to what they’re anticipating most after all is over. Or—and I realize this is probably a crazy suggestion—you could also ask them about anything else, because there is a whole person wrapped around that baby who has many other topics to discuss.

Your pregnant friends and family have included you in their journey because they need your support. You can make them feel good about themselves and this significant life change without making unnecessary comments. And when in doubt, question them.

Until you ask why they are so large, it was a pleasure knowing you.

Meaningful Related articles you might like: 7 New Mom Concerns and How to Manage Them, Tips For New Moms on How To Be Confident, How To Take Care of Yourself As A New Mom