### Enhancing Parenting Skills Through a French Holiday

“Does it taste like a strawberry lollipop from a supermarket, or more like mummy’s perfume?” Inquires Christine Bertoli, the wine specialist at Château Capitoul in Languedoc, as my seven-year-old son delicately grasps a white wine glass by its stem, swirling its dusky pink contents.

Fortunately, the refreshing beverage on offer today contains 0 percent alcohol, a vibrant cabernet grape juice that didn’t undergo the extensive wine fermentation process in the nearby cellar. “Introducing children to the flavors of wine is a reflection of the French approach of treating children as ‘petits adultes,’” explains Bertoli.

It has been 12 years since the release of “French Children Don’t Throw Food,” a popular book that celebrated the techniques and ideologies of French parenting from an outsider’s perspective. Penned by American journalist Pamela Druckerman, the book unveiled a sophisticated world where infants sleep soundly through the night, youngsters sit calmly for extended periods at bistros consuming whatever is served, and new mothers are more inclined to wear skinny jeans than loungewear.

Christine Bertoli, the wine expert at Château Capitoul, emphasizes the integration of parents and children in French culture, blurring the lines between their worlds. The setting at Château Capitoul, perched on a hilltop surrounded by vineyards in La Clape, offers a unique experience for families. This vineyard hotel, one of four under Domaine & Demeure’s Languedoc collection, is a collaboration between the Bonfils wine-producing family and Irish hoteliers Karl O’Hanlon and Anita Forte. The property boasts modern luxuries such as fine dining, an infinity pool with panoramic vineyard views, and a sophisticated spa, all while embracing the essence of viticulture.

The wine-related activities at Château Capitoul include daily tastings conducted by Bertoli in the on-site cave, upcoming immersive wine cellar tours, and programs designed to introduce children to the world of winemaking. From joint wine and grape juice tastings for parents and kids to a summer camp where children engage in vineyard activities, the initiatives aim to make life’s pleasures inclusive for all ages. Bertoli questions, “Why should life’s great pleasures be only for adults?”

In 2022, Dr. Jo Mueller, a British clinical psychologist specializing in parenting, observed the differences in French and British dining cultures during a sunny day by Lake Annecy in southeastern France. Mueller and her husband were surprised to see their four-year-old son and two-year-old daughter served miniature portions of Dordogne foie gras as an amuse-bouche.

Mueller, who has lived between France and the UK, confirms the stereotypes of French parenting, noting that French children are expected to eat adult food without the need for special meals, fostering a sense of family unity. She highlights the absence of overprotective parenting styles or passing trends in France, emphasizing the traditional approach to child-rearing. Additionally, the linguistic norms in French, where children address elders with the formal “vous,” instill a respect for different generations not commonly seen in the UK.

French dining habits, such as later meal times around 8pm and bedtime at 9pm, differ from the British norms of earlier dining and bedtime. Guillaume Marly, the French joint MD of prestigious hotels in London and Paris, acknowledges the need for adjustments in dining times to accommodate UK guests, who prefer earlier meals for children. The cultural distinction is also evident in the relaxed approach to children’s bedtime in France, where parents prioritize family time over early nights.

While French cuisine has seen some adaptation with the introduction of upscale chicken nuggets in Paris, designated children’s menus remain scarce, showcasing a preference for children to enjoy a variety of adult dishes. The contrast in parenting styles between British and French families is evident in the expectations and dining habits of children, reflecting broader cultural differences.

As a parent-traveler, the portrayal of distinct parenting methods between the two nations presents a mixed perspective. While the emphasis on family dining in France is apparent, modern influences like technology at the table challenge the traditional image of French parenting. The debate on superior parenting practices between the two countries remains open-ended.

Returning to the wine juice tasting at Château Capitoul, my young connoisseur, Leo, shares his candid assessment. Unlike his mother, Leo’s palate doesn’t align with merlot, likening the taste to his sports socks. “Très bien!” beams Bertoli in response to his feedback.

Sally Howard experienced the hospitality of Château Capitoul, where a two-bedroom villa with a garden accommodating four guests starts at £400 per night ( chateaucapitoul.com ; 0345 686 6506)