### Insights on New Mother Seeking Support Amid Husband’s Frequent Business Travels

Dear Readers:

Periodically, I request “Updates” on previously featured questions to see how things have progressed for those seeking advice. Curiosity naturally leads me to wonder about the outcomes for individuals who have received my guidance.

This column revisits a Q&A session from 2016, presenting the original question, my response, and the subsequent update.

Dear Amy:

Residing on the West Coast with a 1-month-old infant while my husband travels to the East Coast for work four nights a week puts me in a challenging position. With my family living 2,000 miles away, I find myself alone with a newborn, which feels overwhelming.

I find myself resenting my husband for enjoying uninterrupted sleep and meals. The frustration intensifies when he neglects to answer my daily call due to inconvenient timing or a dead phone.

In two months, I will return to work, anticipating a struggle to balance single parenting with a demanding career. Meanwhile, my husband’s life remains relatively unaffected. How can we navigate the next six to 12 months, considering the geographical distance and strain on our marriage? Fortunately, postpartum depression is not a concern.

— Sleepless in Seattle

Sleepless in Seattle: It would be beneficial to establish a daily video call routine in the evenings, involving both you and your husband interacting face-to-face with the baby. Scheduling this call right before his bedtime, considering the time difference, could be a suitable arrangement. His commitment to this brief daily connection with his family is the least he can do while away.

Furthermore, when he is home, allocate time for him to care for the baby independently while you take a break outside the household. To facilitate his integration into family life, it’s crucial for him to engage in solo childcare activities, fostering a deeper bond through physical interaction and caregiving moments.

While he must step up, it may require your guidance to demonstrate the necessary actions. Despite the challenges, remember that this situation is temporary. Your husband’s acknowledgment of your efforts, value, and emotional support is essential for navigating this period successfully.

Dear Amy:

Seven years have passed since I reached out to you as a weary new mother managing the responsibilities alone while my husband traveled extensively for work. Today, our infant has grown into a school-aged child, and our marriage remains resilient, thanks to your advice.

Adhering to your suggestion, we implemented a daily video call routine for our family, allowing my husband to connect with us regularly. Additionally, setting aside dedicated time for him to care for the baby independently, as you recommended, brought much-needed relief. I underestimated my need for solitude and relaxation, which he facilitated by taking our child out every Saturday morning.

Initially expecting his travel to last six months, it extended for nearly four years. Despite the prolonged separation, we followed your guidance, established a routine, and persevered. Your empathetic response to my initial distress, validating my emotions, played a significant role in our journey.

— No Longer Sleepless

No Longer Sleepless: It is heartening to hear about your positive experience and the successful implementation of the strategies suggested. While many seek reassurance or validation in seeking advice, your proactive approach in applying the recommendations and witnessing the positive outcomes is truly commendable.

I am thrilled that your family has thrived through this challenging period, underscoring the effectiveness of open communication and shared responsibilities. Your update serves as a testament to the power of guidance and empathy in fostering strong familial bonds.

For those interested in providing an “update,” please reach out via email at [email protected], with “update” in the subject line. Include the original Q&A if available and share your story with us.

© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.