Woman’s video on everything she ‘lost’ during 1st year as mom goes viral

Motherhood is a challenging journey and many moms feel like they’ve been thrown in at the deep end. When you’re so busy learning how to care for a baby, it’s easy to feel like you are losing a part of yourself—and one mom has shared her experience of this.

Helen Leland posted a video on Instagram detailing in a poem how her life changed after she had a baby. During the first year of being a mom, she says she lost her identity, her quiet home, her finances and her daily routines, like her skincare regime. However, in the moving clip, she says she gained much more, including cuddles with her baby, and a playful home where her child could grow and develop.

In the caption, she wrote: “Mamas I wrote this for you, and I wrote this for me as I was snuggling my daughter while she was home sick for a week. Which gave me endless hours to think about how much my life has changed over the past year.

“If you are grieving the life you once had, just remember how much you have GAINED. Motherhood is the most beautiful, growing experience of my life. And it is the best thing to ever happen to me!”

Leland added: “I truly lost my old self. I lost my clean home. I lost intimacy with my husband. I lost my morning routine that I had finally perfected. I lost my young, wild and free husband. I gave up nights out on the town with the girls. I’m not afraid to say it, I lost so much this year. But how lucky was I to lose all of that? Because wow, look at what I have gained.”

Leland’s story resonated with many other parents. One commented: “Thanks for sharing this. I’m on my bed crying over my one month old who changed my life quickly. Like, I lost my world and he occupied me as his mother. Reading your caption made me realize I do something magical through motherhood. I’m not alone on this path.”

Another added: “And you’ll gain it all back slowly as she grows up, but with new appreciation and all the bittersweet that comes with watching her grow.”

The commitment and responsibility of being a mom often means other aspects of life take a back seat, which can lead women to feel like they’ve lost a part of themselves. Nearly two-thirds of mothers (62 percent) feel they’ve lost part of their identity since becoming a parent, according to a recent U.K. survey by the parenting app Peanut and baby and parenting brand Tommy Tippee.

A further 31 percent of the 2,000 moms polled said that making time for themselves was the hardest part about becoming a parent, harder than the cost of raising children (19 percent) and finding childcare (17 percent). An additional 63 percent said they often feel like they are comparing themselves with other mothers on social media or in real life.

If you have a parenting dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured in Newsweek.